That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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