Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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