sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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