When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
