This is not my ceiling
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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