we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
