Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Do vagina's smell?
is wine microwaveable?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
try to milk me bitch
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