where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize