Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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