I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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