He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
