I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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