Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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