I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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