How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Randomize
