i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
