belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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