She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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