i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
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I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
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I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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