we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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