My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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