Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
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