NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
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One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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