I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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