Porn is love you can see.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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