yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
His hands were made for my vagina.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
