I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I CAN MOONWALK!
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
