Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
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