I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
