Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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