Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
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At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
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He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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