I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
