What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I will pee on everything he values.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize