You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
