what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
