I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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