Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
