I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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