my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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