How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
