grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just forgot I was standing up.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
