She said her name was "party"
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I can feel your judgement through the phone
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
