yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
And then my night got REAL pukey
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
