escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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