I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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