the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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