Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
