i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
