he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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