I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
