Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
