The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
