So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
