good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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