so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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